Queen for a Day

Mike:

We have a special guest today, Elizabeth James. Normally, this is the fun part where I get to be king for a day, but this week we’re going to do something different; Elizabeth is going to be queen for a day. As king, I pick something that annoys me from the financial side of things, and from a personal side, and then I make a law to fix it. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I made a law that if you don’t put your shopping cart back in the corral when you’re done, you will be publicly humiliated. Today, I’ll make a financial law and Elizabeth will make a fun one.

 

Elizabeth:

Something comes to mind immediately. I was jogging this morning with my dog, as I do most mornings, and because I’m a responsible pet-walker and jogger, I always carry little baggies with me. We’ve all seen people walking their dogs who fail to pick up after them. I always think they must be very busy and important to not have 30 seconds to pick up after their pet.

 

Mike:

If you’re queen for a day, how are you going to address that problem? What’s your law going to be?

 

Elizabeth:

I loved your shopping cart example. They should be publicly shamed for their wrongdoings, and all the offenders should be rounded up and “voluntold” to spend their day picking up deposits from the side of the road. To add to the fun, they’ll have to wear bright yellow hazmat suits.

 

Mike:

If you are someone who doesn’t clean up after your dog when he does his business, you’re going to have to give up your Saturday and join the doggy cleanup crew. We could also make your address as a collection site for all the bags that you’ve picked up over the week. There could be a big sign in the yard that says, “Dog Doo-Doo Collection Center.”

 

Elizabeth has made her first law and I love it. Now, here’s mine on the financial side. I hate taxes. If y’all listen to the show, you know that when I talk about taxes, I get annoyed. I have a low opinion of our government. In recent news, the government is hiring 87,000 more IRS agents, so they can harass us just that much more. I think to myself why did they have to hire so many people? The bottom line is taxes are ridiculously complicated. It’s stupid how complex the tax code is.  There’s around 86,000 pages or some goofy number like that.

 

I was thinking to myself the other day, why is this so darn complicated? Why don’t we make it simple? We should have just one number. Whatever you make, this percentage goes to the IRS. Let’s say it’s 15%. If you make $10,000, then $1,500 of it goes to the IRS. If you make $100,000, then $15,000 goes to the IRS. If you make a billion dollars, then 150 million goes to the IRS. We keep hearing about how Warren Buffett’s tax bracket is lower than his secretary’s and it’s because of the goofiness of the tax code.

 

For everyone working, whatever they get paid, 15% goes to the IRS. That’s it. Nothing else. There are no deductions, no brackets, no credits, nothing. It’s a raw 15% no matter what. It’s simple and we can all file tax returns more easily. If Congress wants to increase taxes, it’ll affect all of us and maybe when we start to notice what’s going on, that’ll motivate the idiots in DC to have some fiscal responsibility.

 

Elizabeth:

I’m over here envisioning a world where we’ve got a simple and fair flat-rate tax and where everyone cleans up after their dogs. Wouldn’t life be so much easier?

 

Mike:

Put us in charge and we will have nirvana.

 

Elizabeth:

We’ll have our own utopian society.

 

Mike:

With that, our simple flat tax is a law. The rate would be 15% for everybody. No deductions, no credits. We had a little bit of fun here, but on a serious note, in our other segments we talk about the big mistakes people make with retirement planning. If you’re retired already, or if you’re nearing retirement, I invite you to give us a call. Let’s sit down one-on-one and check that you’re on the right track. We have something called a personalized Retire Right Report. Right is an acronym: R stands for risk, I for income, G for growth, H for healthcare, and T for taxes. If you’ve already made great decisions in each of those five categories, then you are going to be looking at your retirement with anticipation, not apprehension or anxiety.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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